As we prepare for the upcoming trip to Fiji, we have a lot of tasks to complete. One sad effort that came to be was the passing of my youth soccer coach
Tom Shore. He was a very influential part of my life and formative years.
Unfortunately, I was unable to attend his service. Luckily, however, my parents were able to be there. My mom did me a favor and read a note that I wrote for, about, to Tom.
Here is the text of that note.
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An open letter to my “Coach” Tom Shore
From his
Goalkeeper
How do you express gratitude in life of how an individual
helped to frame, shape and drive you… without insulting, betraying or
minimizing that of your parents who did the same? You shouldn’t. You couldn’t.
You Wouldn’t. I will.
Fortunately, I came in with a shell of size, of strength, of
speed. I competed well with my confidence, my on field antics and vision. But these traits are not relevant beyond
the 90-minute duration and the 18-yard box space.
This 18-yard line box extending left and right, forward and
back. And it was my job to command, to control, and to possess it’s being.
Yet it was through that space and relative time that Coach
Tom Shore used to craft a plan for me to execute in life. My plan included
Focus, Acuity, and Drive.
Tom brought FOCUS with practices and road-trips, limo rides
and hotel stays. He exchanged my “hanging from the goalposts” with being a team
leader and directing our defense to a sharpened blank sheet of goals against.
Practice. Behave. Evolve. Learn. Try. See it. Want it. Get
it. Do it. Then repeat.
10, 11, 12 year old children growing beyond their years in
maturity, resilience and opportunity.
Wearing their Skyhawk blue sweat suits proudly in the hallways of their
schools, on the corners of their neighborhoods, and on the sidelines of their
games.
Tom honed my ACUITY of thought about self by reminding me
that sport translates beyond the field. There IS a relationship between
Athletics (at which I excelled) and Academics (at which I struggled). Pairing
them together I learned (reluctantly at the time) that I too could succeed with
pencil, books and rules.
It is I who has the power to choose what becomes of a situation,
its happenings and the inevitable outcome. I can wait on my line and let the
offensive forces surge into my domain… Or I can give that striker his
undeserving two touches on the ball and then charge and be sure that his third
is his last, affording me the outcome that I desire and a future that fits the
outlet that is deserving: College, Graduate School, Choice.
Tom Took my soul as it lacked judgment (at times) and
created a space of compassion and caring, while still holding a competitive
edge. Win because you want to win, not just because you can. And I did. We did.
And I do. This confidence to stand up tall. To speak. To share. To show.
And was his plan for me deliberate? Perhaps? Perhaps not.
I didn’t realize it at the time, but he was a constant
friend, coach and guide to not just me, but to his family, colleagues,
neighbors, existing and former players. I didn’t realize it then, but he was
helping parents (mine include) build social, political, and household leaders.
I didn’t realize it then, but he was framing, shaping, and helping me with the
direction of my life.
Words like gratitude, thank you, and appreciation are
probably not necessary right now as the calendar has passed us by… but the
thoughts of these and the shared emotions that follow, will live on with our
beliefs, our behaviors, and our actions!
We 10, 11, and 12 year old boys, now 40-plus year old men,
have evolved, maintained, and continue to recognize the value of our
upbringing. We show through our life-long friendships and values that what we
had was priceless and unrivaled.
Unfortunately, I can’t be there today because I have a
commitment to my own 10-year old that is paying his own Competitive tournament.
He is employing his skills now that have been passed on from Tom thru me to my
son. My son now is in command of his 90 minutes… with his Focus, his Acuity,
and his Drive. From Tom thru me to
my son. He has learned his own command… He has learned to command his own
18-yard box.
Goalkeeper
#1
Jay Kreshel
